


close to nothing at all

by dianna44



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crying, Depression, M/M, idk this is dumb, this is basically a reflection of my own feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-07 13:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4264410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianna44/pseuds/dianna44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis' depressed and harry buys him a milkshake</p>
            </blockquote>





	close to nothing at all

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a sad mess.
> 
> title is from damien rice's "amie"

explosions were bursting in louis' mind and he'd much rather be hiding away in his room counting his own fireworks than actually watching them. it was niall that convinced him to come out here.

niall, with his happiness and brashness and free beer.

while louis was just here.

always nothing more than just being here.

he can't remember which holiday it is today. something stupid probably. fireworks are stupid and louis just wants to cry and burst into his own. it's be his chance at being a fleeting beauty before becoming nothing and plummeting toward the ground, sky, wherever.

louis excuses himself from niall for a bit, but he doesn't think that niall heard him, but that's okay.

louis' used to it.

louis walks around for a bit, sidestepping couples too in love to care about anything bad in the world and walking around people too happy to even see him. he's invisible. he's always invisible.

but then louis quite literally knocks over a boy. he wasn't paying attention, but now, all he seems to be a part of is the green of the startled eyes that louis is now looking down at, and louis just wants to cry.

and he does.

he does because he hasn't seen his family in almost a year and a half. he does because nick cheated on him because louis was never enough. he does because every day for the past four years have been nothing than his fireworks diminishing and his sadness spreading.

he does because four years ago, he would've flirted with this beautiful boy staring up at him, but now all he can is fucking cry.

he wants to fly into the sky.

and how he found himself in this position, crying madly at an outing to watch fucking fireworks in front of a boy he doesn't know, but just knocked over, he doesn't know.

louis notices through his tears that the boy is standing up, but he can't bring himself to say or explain anything that's happening to him. the boy is staring at him now and louis just wants to run away into the night and become a flower that is actually able to bloom without the harsh grasp of reality to stop him.

the boy is hugging him.

louis can't stop crying and this green-eyed curly-headed beauty is hugging him. why is this boy hugging him? why hasn't he said something? why is louis suffocating in his own sadness? fuck. why is louis so fucking sad? why is he so wrecked?

why has he become this?

the boy shifts a bit so now louis' crying into a mess of wild curls. louis notices that he smells like gardenias and new books. 

louis just wants to stop crying.

the boy is threading his fingers through louis' hair when he finally speaks. 

"do you want a milkshake?"

louis just nods against him.

his eyes hurt.

but most of all, his heart hurts.

♥

 

louis' finally stopped crying when they reach wherever the boy has brought him. the boy gets out the driver's seat and louis watches as he makes his way around the front to open his door.

the boy is astonishingly beautiful.

he opens the door for louis and louis climbs out feebly, noting how far he parked from the door. it doesn't seem there is anybody else here.

louis likes that.

the boy leads him inside and the door dings like they do in the movies and louis doesn't really understand what he's doing.

he sits down at one of the tables, breathing in and out slowly. he feels tired. the boy sits across him from, his curls dancing wildly around his face. he doesn't say anything.

so louis does instead.

"thank you," he mumbles, his breath coming out unused and in a whisper.

the boy just looks at him. louis doesn't understand.

"i'm harry," the boy finally says.

"louis."

"you have a beautiful voice, louis," harry says, and louis only widens his eyes in response. no, he doesn't. nothing about him is beautiful.

the boy in front of him, however, is.

"you have beautiful hair," is what louis finally manages to say. harry smiles. he has dimples.

"thank you. chocolate or vanilla?"

"chocolate," louis answers. a waitress comes over not even a second later and louis watches as harry orders one chocolate and one vanilla milkshake. louis thinks harry is cute.

the waitress leaves and harry is back to studying him. louis wonders why.

he's not interesting.

"what do you want?" harry asks. louis' confused.

"what?"

harry smiles, dimples popping out again. "what do you want?" he repeats.

normally, louis would say something stupid or witty or maybe just even refuse to answer, but louis thinks that harry wants a serious answer. an answer that louis doesn't ever want to admit to anyone.

but louis does answer.

"i want to be happy," he whispers, and it's like a volcano just erupted because he's never said those words out loud. he never wanted this to be real.

harry is watching him and louis can see his eyes fill with sadness. louis clears his throat.

when harry speaks again, louis feel fireworks erupt in him.

"i want to help you be happy, louis."

and the thing is, it's not like louis has never heard that before. he's heard it from therapists, his friends, his family, everyone that spends more than five minutes with him, but when harry says it, louis believes him.

louis wants him to help.

"okay," he says.

the waitress beings them the milkshakes and louis brings his straw to his mouth to taste it.

it tastes like it could be happiness.

harry's watching him drink and louis gives a small smile in return.

and then harry smiles and louis just thinks that whatever is happening between them right now, is worth it.

he takes another sip when harry does and louis feels explosions going off in his head, but this time, louis is happy to see harry, a firework bursting forever.

louis thinks that might just mean something.

maybe it's a flicker of happiness.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> well, that happened.
> 
> anyway, hopefully you enjoyed it and would like to leave kudos/comments. 
> 
> tumblr= iwannapandanamedchubs
> 
> twitter= @dianna_morales  
> larry twitter= @larryfreakouts


End file.
